Comments on: Kink and Fibromyalgia

By: Krissi

Krissi — Mon, 13 May 2013 17:31:30 +0000

Thank you for writing this. I am also a switch, but most of my activity is being a sub as I have found great relief from my pain through, ironically, pain.

By: Kit

Kit — Wed, 25 Jan 2012 22:57:41 +0000

@Mia: It’s a question of balance. There are days I just hurt too much to even get started having sex, but when I am able it almost always helps and leaves me feeling better, at least for a while. There are still times when a sudden sharp pain will derail the fun, but we try our best to adapt, adjust, and return to the fun later when we can’t continue right away.

The Fibro does require a lot of the adaptability you describe — days when we cancel plans to go to the kink party and stay in because I can’t handle being on my feet that much, for example. At my last anniversary I shared with Pet, we planned to go out for Indian and see a movie together & make out in the theater. We settled instead for staying in, watching a Redbox DVD rental, and ordering Chinese delivery. We still had fun.

I’m glad this spoke to you and keep me posted on your own journey. I think it’s important to talk openly about both sex & pain, in addition to the places they overlap.

By: Mia Wallace

Mia Wallace — Wed, 25 Jan 2012 22:36:05 +0000

I appreciate so many aspects of this post.
I hadn’t considered the benefits of endorphins on pain, but that’s a brilliant connection. Chronic pain and acute pain both respond to endorphins. The next time my knee is hurting and the hubby suggests sex, I’ll say yes and use those babies to make me feel better, rather than say no and focus on the discomfort.
Your idea to use your subs to help you, thus benefiting and pleasing you both, is great. You are lucky to be surrounded by people like that in such a situation.
My mom had FM and a slew of other issues, so I am all too familiar with the pain, fatigue, confusion. She had the same nasty habit of doing way too much and paying for it. When I visited, it was almost like our roles were reversed – I was the parent taking care of her. She hated that the vast majority of our visits were us just hanging out and talking rather than being out in the world, but I didn’t mind – it was quality time spent together.
I wish you the best. Thank you so much for sharing your story and how you’ve found a mutually beneficial way to work with it.

By: Kit

Kit — Wed, 26 Oct 2011 00:48:04 +0000

@Kinky_Pet: To follow up, my kinky friend with Fibro is terrified of needles so she can’t offer much. It looks like you found my favorite Fibro support group on FetLife and got some good answers. Feel free to get in touch with more questions!

By: Kit

Kit — Sun, 23 Oct 2011 18:48:52 +0000

@KP:

I don’t have a lot of experience with needle play, though it is an area that interests me. I have another kinky friend with Fibro and I will ask her about it and try to get back to you on this one.

In general, the endorphins I gain from play are good for my Fibromyalgia. If you’re flaring up hard afterward I wonder if you are pushing yourself too far? I’m curious what kind of play led to this flare up and if you can track whether its a certain kind of thing that does it.

As for a ‘place on the web’ — I can only suggest FetLife. There are a number of Fibromyalgia and Kink discussion groups on that site.

Kit