Published: The Mythical Domspace

Josie Whip's Summer Catalog, featuring "The Mythical Domspace" by Kit O'Connell

Josie Whip, makers of high quality custom paddles and floggers, have just released their Summer Catalog. This issue¬†features my latest essay, “The Mythical Domspace.”

Maybe it’s easier for outsiders to understand why a dominant would want to be in control — for better or worse, the desire to have power over others seems instinctive to the human animal. At least in my opinion, this means that more has been written examining the perspective of the submissive. There seems to be an intense desire to understand what a person could get out of giving up control, out of voluntarily letting another put their will over one’s own. As a result, phenomena like subspace are relatively well documented, and there are a lot of essays assuring the reader that much of a kink scene is about getting the sub’s needs met, even implying that the top is secretly in service to the bottom. I’d like to take a few words to examine what the dominant gets out of it all, on a deeper level than just getting off.

Read the rest of the article.

Previously, I’ve written another essay for Josie Whip entitled “The Paradox of Kink.” I also got to review one of their floggers which remains a favorite toy to this day.

For more of my writing, check the Kit’s Writing page or follow me on twitter.

Comments (3)

  1. Pixel wrote:

    Nicely written. :) Your Dom space and mine seem to be very similar…I also get that state of hyper awareness of my partner when I’m topping them.

    Saturday, July 2, 2011 at 4:53 am #
  2. Kit wrote:

    @Pixel: Thanks for your comment. I am glad to hear you experience this in a similar way, it makes me feel good about what I wrote.

    Saturday, July 2, 2011 at 9:17 pm #
  3. a wrote:

    I’d love to read this article but the link is dead and Google is not obliging me tonight! As a sub I’m fascinated by what the other half feel. Maybe you could post the article here on your website? Cheers :)

    Thursday, January 2, 2014 at 1:22 pm #