approximately 8,000 words » Sex

Review: Pink Plushy Handcuffs

Kit — Wed, 25 Aug 2010 03:17:30 +0000

Pink Plushy Handcuffs from the Adult Toy Shoppe

I am now reviewing sex toys for The Adult Toy Shoppe. I am not being paid for these reviews, but I do receive free toys. You can find the Pink Plushy Handcuffs and other bondage toys on their site.

Bondage cuffs are amongst the most basic of kinky sex toys, yet they come in all manner of variations from pretend police handcuffs covered in leopard-print faux fur to the fanciest custom leather. They can be used like silk scarves in the lightest of bondage play, or they can be what holds your submissive to the St. Andrew’s Cross during a lengthy flogging.

I’ve had my own pair that I have used off and on for some time — a simple set in black leather which work wonderfully for most of my uses. They are lockable and remain comfortable even when the sub puts some of her weight in them. The only problem with them is they were bought for a lover with very small wrists, and as a result they only fit on some of the people I might like to use them with.

I was hoping these cuffs, the Pink Plush Wrist Cuffs from Topco’s grrltoyz, would offer me a little more range, as well as being fairly stylish. Pink is a funny color — my lovers seem to love it or hate it, with the haters seeming to be mostly women who were force fed too much of it as children. Since I don’t seem to have any haters in my life currently — and my pet adores the color — I thought this would be a good addition to my collection.

Unfortunately they aren’t quite versatile enough to meet all my needs. Though the fake fur was very comfortable to the submissives I have tried them on, the pleather coating seems to breathe a little less than actual leather making them a bit hotter for long-term wear. They do accommodate larger wrists, but not in the way I anticipated — the cuff itself is actually smaller than the ones I already owned, but the belt and buckle are very long and will fit wrists the cuff itself does not fully encompass. However this added range comes at the expense of security. It was comfortable enough on everyone who wore it, but I suspect many wearers could slip out of them if they tried and it wasn’t as comfortable if any pressure was placed on the parts of the wrist that weren’t covered. And though you can lock the two d-rings together with a padlock, there’s no way to lock the cuffs themselves.

None of this really means that this is a bad toy. The cuffs come with a chain for linking them together which is simple fun, great for yanking your playthings around, and it stands up well to this sort of moderately rough use. The fur lining keeps the ends of the cuffs from pinching even when they don’t meet all the way. The pleather is soft but solidly stitched, the D-rings securely attached, and the faux fur lining comfortable to the wrists.

Most of all, it’s important not to underestimate the potent symbolic power of this kind of bondage. I’ve known submissives who could doze peacefully to sleep with their wrists bound thanks to the feelings of security it brought. When I recently put these cuffs on a friend who’s only just getting back into kink, she positively melted the moment she felt the pressure on her wrists, and asked me to put them back on her later that night for a repeat performance. Though they probably won’t appeal to advanced kinksters, the grrltoyz Pink Plush Wrist Cuffs are a good set of cuffs for basic play.

The Bachelor Machine

Kit — Mon, 02 Aug 2010 16:20:44 +0000

The Bachelor Machine by M. Christian

I’m a longtime fan of author and editor M. Christian, perhaps most especially his short story collection The Bachelor Machine. I first read and reviewed it back in 2004 when it was in print from Green Candy Press. Not only is the book back in print as an e-book from Circlet Press, it now features my brand new foreward:

M. Christian is a writer who doesn’t let the reader off easy. I don’t mean that his books aren’t easy to read (he has a fine way with words and a unique, recognizable voice). The thing about his stories is that even at their filthiest, they also make you think.

You can take a peek at the rest of my introduction, which will hopefully convince you to buy the book. Your money will be going to support not just a hungry author but an almost 20-year old small press dedicated solely to the publication of erotic genre fiction.

Review: Neon Jr Gspot Softee

Kit — Fri, 30 Jul 2010 22:45:57 +0000

The Jr G-Spot Softee in Neon Green, from Pipedreams.

I review sex toys for sextoy.com. While I don’t receive any money for these reviews, I am receiving free sex toys. You can find the Neon Jr G-spot Softee and other vibrators on their site.

I received two vibrators in the same shipment, this one and the Le rêve vibe, which will be the subject of my next review. I divided them between two of my lovers — I gave the Le rêve to my pet, and Trouble got this one due to her love of the color neon green. Unfortunately, it seems like she probably got the worse of the two choices but the Softee isn’t without its uses.

Like most cheaper sex toys, the Jr G-spot Softee has the typical labeling claiming it is for novelty use only. Neither the sextoy.com website nor the packaging itself talk about what material the toy is made from, but with a bit of research I did find another vendor which claims the toy is pthalate free. It’s made from a soft, slightly pliable plastic material which seems like it should be relatively easy to clean; however, since I am not sure what it’s made of you probably want to use it with a condom or reserve it for a single lover to be safe.

This toy is relatively quiet when turned on, but also relatively weak. It runs off a single AA battery. The battery cover is also the control for the vibrator, allowing you to increase or decrease the speed with a twist. This also means that while the toy is billed as being waterproof, it might be possible to accidentally twist the end too far during underwater play and flood the battery compartment with water.

Trouble enjoyed the toy for gentle teasing on her clitoris but found the most enjoyment by inserting it all the way and then manually stimulating her clitoris or using an egg vibrator. She didn’t feel like the nub was the right angle or placement to easily stimulate her g-spot, though of course your mileage may vary on this depending on the placement of yours (or your lover’s).

I spoke with Trouble recently while she is away travelling on a journey of self-discovery, and she told me that she tried the vibe again while on the road, using it in a bathtub to induce therapeutic orgasms to ease some menstrual cramps. She did experiment with submerging the toy and found it to stand up to the treatment easily.

Sex toy vendors take note: Trouble complained to me of being unable to comfortably penetrate herself with this toy or most dildos, and told me her ideal g-spot stimulator would be one that could put pressure on her g-spot while fully inserted, sort of a g-spot plug. I don’t know of any toy that matches this description, but I am going to keep my eyes open. There’s so much innovation in modern sex toys that if it doesn’t exist, it’s probably only a matter of time.

As for the Neon Jr G-spot Softee, I think it’s most useful for those who like weak vibrations or perhaps for those very new to this kind of play that are hesitant about stronger toys. The price is low, but in this case so is the return.

Review: Wedge Air Pillow (“The Pushin’ Cushion”)

Kit — Tue, 20 Jul 2010 18:46:59 +0000

The Pushin Cushion inflatable wedge

I review sex toys for sextoy.com. While I don’t receive any money for these reviews, I am receiving free sex toys. You can find the Wedge Air Pillow, as well as other sex toys such as vibrators, on their site.

If you’re a sex toy aficionado like me, you’ve probably become aware of the high-end sex toy furniture which has become available recently. Ranging from specially shaped pillows to entire customized sex beds, the cheapest of these toys runs in the hundreds of dollars. This is a lot of money to pay for foam furniture, especially when those new to experimenting with the toys may not know how much difference that wedge and ramp set will make in their sex lives.

This is where Doc Johnson, the manufacturers of the Wedge Air Pillow come in, offering one of the more popular shapes in a low-priced inflatable alternative. Note that while Sextoy.com refers to this as the Wedge Air Pillow, the packaging has a more colorful (and might I add, goofy) title: the Pushin’ Cushion. As an aside, has anyone else noticed that pillow is one of those words that suddenly looks like it’s spelled incorrectly if you stare at it for too long?

Getting back to the subject at hand, this toy is in theory a cheaper alternative to the foam furniture made by companies like Liberator. I’ve been drooling over their furniture since I saw it in a showroom in one of Houston’s fancier adult stores. I thought this wedge would be a great chance to try out the concept.

The wedge is an inflatable pillow that is covered by a washable, soft zippered cover. This greatly adds to the comfort of the toy over other inflatable furniture I have sat on. In addition to the pillow and cover, a patch kit, a small foot-operated air pump and a page of suggested positions are included in the plastic shell the toy ships in. You probably won’t bother to keep the packaging after opening, as it isn’t especially useful for secure storage. I wish the toy had included a vinyl bag in which to store the deflated pillow; air mattresses which sell in stores for about the same price often include these. It takes a bit of work to inflate with the included air pump, but this is definitely preferable to trying to inflate it with just your lungs.

The bandersnatch assists with the construction of this review.

When inflated, the wedge is quite large — large enough that it took up a good portion of my queen size bed, and I wanted to deflate it soon after trying it out. It’s just too large to keep inflated in my small apartment where there is nowhere to keep it out of reach of my crazy cat, Saskia (aka the frumious bandersnatch). I’d say that one drawback of this toy is its increased vulnerability to cats, but mine showed no interest in it. I think the cover probably adds a small amount of protection, and I can’t imagine foam stands up too well to claws either.

Trouble was eager to test out this wedge with me. I inflated it as firmly as it would get, and zipped it shut. We studied the list of suggested positions. Trouble complained that while it offers a number of positions for penis-in-vagina sex, and one position for fellatio, there was nothing suggested for using the pillow during cunnilingus. And, just like Liberator’s marketing materials, Doc Johnson seem to assume that the only users of this pillow will be the completely heterosexual — there are certainly no suggestions for other gender pairings.

The first position we tried was one where I lay with my back high up on the ramp, supporting myself on the bed with my legs while Trouble sat astride my lap facing me. Penetration felt wonderful at this angle, and I had perfect access to almost any part of her body I wanted to reach for. But my legs quickly grew tired from supporting us; the pillow was wobbling so much that I had to concentrate as much on maintaining my balance as on enjoying my beautiful redheaded lover. Unfortunately, we had a similar experience when we tried placing Trouble on her back on the wedge with her knees drawn up toward her chest. She felt like she had to constantly balance on her arms, and the angle of the wedge made that more difficult. By the time we were finished, the pillow seemed already to have deflated a bit, growing even more wobbly in the process.

Now that I’ve tried it, I love the idea of using a wedge pillow for sex. It’s clear there are many kinds of sexual play that might be made easier with this kind of toy. I plan to experiment more with the wedge when the opportunity allows, either by placing it on the floor or experimenting with a rear-entry position. And when I have the budget to afford it, and the house to store them in, I can easily see myself buying some of the expensive stuff.

Unfortunately, I don’t think this toy is worth a purchase for most people. I suspect it will probably see some use at Burning Man events, where inflatable furniture (more conventional pillows, sofas, and so on) is already commonplace, but I don’t think I’ll use it often for sex. The wedge is just not stable enough. To return to my comparison with air mattresses earlier in the review, it used to be that an air mattress was just too wobbly and unreliable for sleeping on. Nowadays, for about the price of the wedge, you can purchase a queen-sized air mattress that has built-in ribbing that creates a great deal of stability and comfort. I’d like to see this toy redesigned in a similar fashion. I guess the Wedge Air Pillow might be a worthwhile purchase for someone who just absolutely has to try out this shape but can’t afford the real thing, but I think you’d be better off making friends with an adventurous Liberator owner and asking to share.

Pleasurists #86, featuring my latest review

Kit — Wed, 14 Jul 2010 03:11:57 +0000

My Bendybeads review was featured in the latest issue of Pleasurists.

squishes and smushes by GoddessWillendorf

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