I review sex toys for sextoy.com. You can find the Fetish Fantasy Bamboo Beater and other Kink Toys on their site. Disclaimer: Although I am not paid for these reviews (unless you purchase something via an affiliate link), I am sent free toys in return for my honest opinion.
Sometimes, breaking stuff is fun.
Last week I reviewed the Fetish Fantasy “Rawhide” Switch which is a terrible toy that broke immediately upon use or in one case even before I’d played with it. After posting the review I received a number of comments about how Pipedream Products and specifically the Fetish Fantasy line are known for the low quality of their toys. In the end, Shellie from sextoy.com customer support replaced my second switch with this bamboo-based impact toy from the same manufacturer. And while I know it isn’t going to last forever, I’m still enjoying it much more.
The Fetish Fantasy Bamboo Beater has a thick bamboo handle decorated with a simple yet attractive floral or starburst pattern. Emerging from the handle is a cluster of many long, thin bamboo rods which have blunt tips. There is a loop of string attached to the base for hanging. The entire toy is just under 2 feet long from end to end. It is lightweight and easy to hold.
Like the switch, this toy is sold in the Canes category on sextoy.com. A true cane is a long, thin rod which is mostly silent in use (apart from the whistling as it cuts the air) but has a very painful sting. They are known for leaving impressive welts or red stripes on play partners. This beater, as much as I am enjoying it, does not fit the bill. It looks mean enough, but its bark is much worse than its bite.
My lover Honey J was visiting when this toy and another one arrived, but she was already on her way out the door. She was super excited to try it on her next visit the following week, however. As a result, we gave it a thorough test.
This toy felt mostly thuddy when used on her breasts and thighs, but she really enjoyed the increased stinging sensations it gave on her back. When you hit someone with this toy it makes a lot of noise — a swishing thud at the point of impact — and it spreads attractively across the back or body part you strike. That spreading has the effect of lessening the blow but also widening where it is felt. This toy also made Honey giggle with pleasure (one of her appealingly masochistic responses to pain) when I used it on her ass. It reddened the skin over time but didn’t seem to leave any lasting marks. You can also ‘sweep’ the skin with the tips to create a light scratching sensation.
Overall it seems like a warm up toy, or a good one for those more interested in sensation play. But up above I mentioned something about breaking stuff, didn’t I? After a few of my hardest strikes, I have broken two or three of the toy’s many bamboo rods. Unless you use it with more restraint than I did, the rods are simply too thin to last.
And yet as a Dominant and sadist there is undeniable pleasure in breaking a toy in use. In the past I’ve broken chopsticks, small dowels and wooden spoons when used as ad-hoc impact toys. I’ve left cracks in the handles of my hair brushes that I proudly continue to use. For me, there’s something very satisfying about smacking someone hard with a toy like this and seeing a piece pop right off. There are other sex toys which are essentially disposable — like those little vibrating eggs that run on watch batteries — and the price for this bamboo beater is comparably cheap.
Unless it will be used only for sensual play, you shouldn’t purchase the Fetish Fantasy Bamboo Beater if you want a permanent addition to your collection. Instead it’s a cheap but effective diversion which you can use for a few fun sessions. Consider your desires and toy budget, and buy accordingly.
Kit’s short story “Lifting The Veil” was published on March 1st. If you have enjoyed his reviews or his writing in general, please consider buying a copy. You can read an excerpt here.