Interior: Mayor’s Office, an American City
American Mayor: Darn those occupiers and their tents! They’re sleeping all over our nice clean park. I hope I never see a tent again!
A tiny animated or puppet tentmonster appears near American Mayor.
Tenty: No tents eh? OK, Mister Mayor! I’ll make that wish come true!
AM: Who… who are you?
T: The name’s Tenty, Tenty the Occupy sprite they call me! I heard your wish, and you’re gonna get it! No more tents for you from now on!
Cut to footage of police roughly forcing occupiers out of tent cities.
AM: What a relief!
Cut to… City Council Meeting. Occupiers fill the viewing stands, monopolize the citizen communication section, and begin to bring resolutions against the banks.
AM: What’s going on! I thought we got rid of those occupiers!
T: No Tents! (wacky sound effect plays) You kicked the occupiers out of the property around city hall, so now they come inside! Some of them are even running for city council! Now you’ll never be rid of them.
AM stumbles away from the city council and into his office. The phone is ringing off the hook.
AM: What? They’re protesting at your schools and the education agency? Talk of a student walkout of testing?!
T: No Tents! (wacky sound effect plays) They’re reaching out to the community, radicalizing students & teachers to join our movement. I hear the occupiers are even recruiting the homeless for a march this Friday, now that you kicked them out of their tent city!
AM looks at his watch and rushes out the door to a press conference or media appearance.
AM: It is my pleasure to introduce the federal secretary of–
Occupiers, including Tenty, jump up from the audience.
T: Mic Check! Mic Check! No Tents! (wacky sound effect plays) Evict us, we multiply! Now you never know where we’ll appear, American Mayor.
AM: Gee, Tenty! I’m sorry. I didn’t know what I was wishing. You can have your occupation back!
T: Come spring, you’ll be seeing a lot of tents. But there’s no stopping us now! (wacky sound effect plays as mayor has a nervous breakdown)
I don’t mean this as an argument for or an against tent occupations — I think having a physical place to Occupy is important to the popular imagination and the media in many ways. At the same time, it’s amazing what Occupy Austin and other groups are still accomplishing now that we no longer put resources into maintaining a physical space. In Occupy 2.0, I think both are possible.
Also, I love this MST3K episode and haven’t been able to get the idea out of my head since I thought of it!
See you on the streets in Spring!