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Tag: Polyamory

You Me Her: ‘Be Careful What You Wish For’ And Polyamory On TV (SXSW Review)

Posted in Journalism, Polyamory, Sex & Relationships, and SXSW

“Be careful what you wish for,” declared Greg Poehler during the SXSW audience Q&A for “You Me Her,” the new “polyromantic” sitcom which premieres today on DirecTV’s Audience Network.

He was talking the reaction of Jack, the character he plays in the show, to discovering that his wife is bisexual. Jack’s confusion is far from the stereotypical “whoa! two hot chicks together!” response we’ve come to expect from straight guys in the media.

But he could also be describing my reaction to the news that a sitcom centered around polyamory was coming to the airwaves. My trepidation was compounded by the fact that there seemed to be very little information on the show online (it doesn’t help that The Hollywood Reporter called it “a sugar daddy comedy” in July) and even further when the show’s publicity team seemed reluctant to grant me access to their talent at SXSW.

Why You Should Meet Your Partner’s Lovers

Posted in Polyamory, Sex & Relationships, and The Establishment

Two months ago, my lovers met over tacos.

The holidays were coming up, and it seemed like a little familiarity would help us all negotiate those emotionally-charged times more easily. Also, one lover felt a little jealous when she saw me with the other in selfies on social media.

I was confident they’d get along. Besides the obvious, they have several things in common: They both love cats, feminism, and, of course, Tex-Mex food. This would give us at least three topics to talk about, even if things got awkward.

The Ethical Slut Read-along: Conclusion, Imagining A Slut Utopia

Posted in Polyamory, Sex & Relationships, and The Ethical Slut Read Along

I began my read-along of The Ethical Slut about ten months ago now at the behest of several of my readers including my friend, coauthor, and guest blogger Kiki Christie. The format has changed over the course of the series — I realized that more people would participate if I emphasize that this is a conversation about poly topics inspired by a book, instead of expecting others to keep up in the book. I’ve really enjoyed exploring my own feelings about polyamory and non-monogamy through the lens of this classic of the field. A lot of readers have left great comments, and the series has also spawned some insightful guest posts.

Poly Language

Posted in Polyamory, and Sex & Relationships

One of the struggles we have in polyamory is the lack of terms to clearly describe the roles we play in our non-traditional relationships; of course it doesn’t help that these take infinite forms. Just like any subculture, we coin our own terminology. Polys talk about compersion, which is feeling happiness for our lover’s success with other people — the opposite of jealousy, in a sense. For a while, I was another man’s punalua, which is an old Hawaiian word he’d found which meant roughly, “beloved other lover of my lover.” However, whatever terms we coin for ourselves exist only within our community or the individual relationship; we cannot expect familiarity from anyone else, nor can we fault them for using the words which are available.

The Ethical Slut Read-along: Jealousy (Part 2)

Posted in Polyamory, and The Ethical Slut Read Along

There seems to be a great deal of variation in how much jealousy a person feels — for some it’s an ugly, painful struggle but for others it is something rarely felt if at all.

One recurring trigger for jealousy that came up many times in discussion is when a lover feels “out of the loop” — that is they don’t feel like their other lover(s) have communicated openly about their feelings, activities, or intentions involving a third-party. Sometimes it occurs when a person or event reminds one of a past loss, or suggests an impending breakup or problem. Jealousy might be caused by feeling neglected or abandoned.