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Kit Q&A: Polyamory & The Ethical Slut

Posted in Polyamory, Sex & Relationships, and The Ethical Slut Read Along

[qa-intro] With my recently completed series on The Ethical Slut I thought I’d answer a few related questions.

Is the Ethical Slut available as an ebook?

Until relatively recently only the first edition of The Ethical Slut was available as an ePub. That changed not long ago; you can now get the second edition on Kindle. Of course, there is no legal way to read it for free online but you can get a free preview on Amazon or get a good idea of the contents by looking at my Ethical Slut Read-along.

People who practice polyamory are rarely driven by a fear of intimacy. Rather, they seek out many kinds of intimacy from multiple people. Photo by Trey Ratcliff

Do people in polyamorous relationships have more fear of intimacy?

There is a notion that people seek out polyamory because of a fear of intimacy or because they are afraid of commitment. Rather than avoiding it, most polyamorous people I know seek lots of intimacy. Their desire for intimacy is so varied, and sometimes so high, that one person simply is not enough to fulfill it.

Frankly, I love almost everyone I have sex with. That doesn’t mean I want to form committed relationships with all of them — that love comes easily, but without strings attached. Rather than assuming that with emotions comes entanglement, I try to let each relationship reach its own natural level of involvement.

It is possible that someone might claim to be polyamorous because they are afraid of growing attached. But it’s unlikely that such a person would do very well with most others who practice non-monogamy. Instead of avoiding it as might occur if she only formed casual sexual relationships, she might instead find herself with multiple lovers demanding far more than she wanted to give!

Where can I find pictures of polyamorous families?

One place I discovered recently is the Tumblr blog, Yes, We Are Polyamorous. I discovered the site because of a link back to me and the guest post by Red Pepper. I think it’s an adorable concept.


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