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Good (Girl/Boy)

Posted in Sex & Relationships

I thought I’d take a moment to reflect on an important phrase for myself and my lovers.

A topless woman lounges in a rope harness.
Good girl. Two words that increase bliss after a kink scene (Photo: Bella Aldo / Flickr).

Every person is different, and this holds true among kinksters as well as the more vanilla among us; what might be a term of endearment to one could be a grave insult to another. Yet I’ve found for many, there are two words which mean so much that forgetting them can change the outcome of a night of kink, and using them can increase the afterglow of any BDSM scene:

“Good girl.”

As a dominant, you only have to say these words once to a susceptible submissive to realize their power. Say it after a long, tiring, satisfying kink scene. You will see her smile, perhaps even blush or give a sweet shudder of pleasure. It is these words that let your plaything know that she did well, that this girl took everything you wanted to give and you are proud.

Of course, there’s nothing gendered about it because

“Good boy”

can mean just as much. As a switch, when I submit I want very much to please. While I enjoy “bratty” submissives when I am in a dominant role, as a submissive I want to do everything right. I try my hardest to follow all the rules. By the end of a good scene, I am incredibly high even if I was totally sober when we began. I float on a wave of endorphins and sensation, but hearing those words fills me with a warmth that can last for days.

It feels silly to admit, but I even like to hear it from my subs sometimes. When my pet & I finish playing or having sex, and cuddle together coming down, she always answers my good girl in kind. Since our kink involves ageplay & a Daddy/girl dynamic, she says

“Good Daddy”

and it always makes me smile.