O'Connell / Change / Thursday, July 29th, 2010

Houston Art Nerds logo by Christoper Glenn.

Change is constant. I mean, really fucking constant.

The last few months have been a whirlwind of love found, lost, and changed. I’ve moved to a new city (though I write these words from Houston, my former stomping grounds). I’ve made new friends and lost ones I never expected to lose.

The weird part of all this is it has made me feel more mature than I thought I was — I’m managing to keep putting words on the page, and maintain my responsibilities in the face of all kinds of upheaval good and bad. I may not be pouring out thousands of words per day like the writers I watch enviously on my twitter feed, but I am continuing to work on all my various projects including those that are directly paying the bills. It’s weird to feel not very together but then realize you’re actually less shaken than you think.

As a result it’s very appropriate that our next Houston Art Nerds salon, a.k.a. Le Salon du Subversif #5, has a theme of Change. We’ll be gathering as usual to make art together, but will also be repeating the ‘Storyteller’s Circle’ of one of our previous salons, sharing stories about the theme and how it has touched our lives, or the lives of fictional characters. If I can make myself put enough words on the page between now and then, and not waste all my time with blog entries, twitter and other catwaxing, I’ll have part of a current work in progress to share.

If you’re going to be in Houston this Friday, July 30th, and are interested in the event please get in touch with me, or visit the Facebook group page.

O'Connell / Pleasurists #88 / Wednesday, July 28th, 2010

The latest issue of Pleasurists features my review of the Wedge Air Pillow

Washed Up by bubs84

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O'Connell / Review: Wedge Air Pillow (“The Pushin’ Cushion”) / Tuesday, July 20th, 2010

The Pushin Cushion inflatable wedge

I review sex toys for sextoy.com. While I don’t receive any money for these reviews, I am receiving free sex toys. You can find the Wedge Air Pillow, as well as other sex toys such as vibrators, on their site.

If you’re a sex toy aficionado like me, you’ve probably become aware of the high-end sex toy furniture which has become available recently. Ranging from specially shaped pillows to entire customized sex beds, the cheapest of these toys runs in the hundreds of dollars. This is a lot of money to pay for foam furniture, especially when those new to experimenting with the toys may not know how much difference that wedge and ramp set will make in their sex lives.

This is where Doc Johnson, the manufacturers of the Wedge Air Pillow come in, offering one of the more popular shapes in a low-priced inflatable alternative. Note that while Sextoy.com refers to this as the Wedge Air Pillow, the packaging has a more colorful (and might I add, goofy) title: the Pushin’ Cushion. As an aside, has anyone else noticed that pillow is one of those words that suddenly looks like it’s spelled incorrectly if you stare at it for too long?

Getting back to the subject at hand, this toy is in theory a cheaper alternative to the foam furniture made by companies like Liberator. I’ve been drooling over their furniture since I saw it in a showroom in one of Houston’s fancier adult stores. I thought this wedge would be a great chance to try out the concept.

The wedge is an inflatable pillow that is covered by a washable, soft zippered cover. This greatly adds to the comfort of the toy over other inflatable furniture I have sat on. In addition to the pillow and cover, a patch kit, a small foot-operated air pump and a page of suggested positions are included in the plastic shell the toy ships in. You probably won’t bother to keep the packaging after opening, as it isn’t especially useful for secure storage. I wish the toy had included a vinyl bag in which to store the deflated pillow; air mattresses which sell in stores for about the same price often include these. It takes a bit of work to inflate with the included air pump, but this is definitely preferable to trying to inflate it with just your lungs.

The bandersnatch assists with the construction of this review.

When inflated, the wedge is quite large — large enough that it took up a good portion of my queen size bed, and I wanted to deflate it soon after trying it out. It’s just too large to keep inflated in my small apartment where there is nowhere to keep it out of reach of my crazy cat, Saskia (aka the frumious bandersnatch). I’d say that one drawback of this toy is its increased vulnerability to cats, but mine showed no interest in it. I think the cover probably adds a small amount of protection, and I can’t imagine foam stands up too well to claws either.

Trouble was eager to test out this wedge with me. I inflated it as firmly as it would get, and zipped it shut. We studied the list of suggested positions. Trouble complained that while it offers a number of positions for penis-in-vagina sex, and one position for fellatio, there was nothing suggested for using the pillow during cunnilingus. And, just like Liberator’s marketing materials, Doc Johnson seem to assume that the only users of this pillow will be the completely heterosexual — there are certainly no suggestions for other gender pairings.

The first position we tried was one where I lay with my back high up on the ramp, supporting myself on the bed with my legs while Trouble sat astride my lap facing me. Penetration felt wonderful at this angle, and I had perfect access to almost any part of her body I wanted to reach for. But my legs quickly grew tired from supporting us; the pillow was wobbling so much that I had to concentrate as much on maintaining my balance as on enjoying my beautiful redheaded lover. Unfortunately, we had a similar experience when we tried placing Trouble on her back on the wedge with her knees drawn up toward her chest. She felt like she had to constantly balance on her arms, and the angle of the wedge made that more difficult. By the time we were finished, the pillow seemed already to have deflated a bit, growing even more wobbly in the process.

Now that I’ve tried it, I love the idea of using a wedge pillow for sex. It’s clear there are many kinds of sexual play that might be made easier with this kind of toy. I plan to experiment more with the wedge when the opportunity allows, either by placing it on the floor or experimenting with a rear-entry position. And when I have the budget to afford it, and the house to store them in, I can easily see myself buying some of the expensive stuff.

Unfortunately, I don’t think this toy is worth a purchase for most people. I suspect it will probably see some use at Burning Man events, where inflatable furniture (more conventional pillows, sofas, and so on) is already commonplace, but I don’t think I’ll use it often for sex. The wedge is just not stable enough. To return to my comparison with air mattresses earlier in the review, it used to be that an air mattress was just too wobbly and unreliable for sleeping on. Nowadays, for about the price of the wedge, you can purchase a queen-sized air mattress that has built-in ribbing that creates a great deal of stability and comfort. I’d like to see this toy redesigned in a similar fashion. I guess the Wedge Air Pillow might be a worthwhile purchase for someone who just absolutely has to try out this shape but can’t afford the real thing, but I think you’d be better off making friends with an adventurous Liberator owner and asking to share.

O'Connell / Defyauthority: Why the fuck would you go to Burning Man? / Tuesday, July 13th, 2010

My friend Lauren has given me a new soapbox and she wants me to write about Burning Man. My first post is entitled Why the Fuck would you want to go to Burning Man?

There are a lot of reasons not to go to Burning Man. If you’re going just because you’ve heard there is free booze and naked titties there, you don’t belong at Burning Man.  If you’re going to get wasted and climb up something high and fall off, save the Rangers the trouble and stay home. If you and your significant other are going to import your relationship drama onto the playa, or can’t communicate well enough to talk ahead of time about what to do when one of you takes drugs the other doesn’t approve of, or when one of you bangs that cute little thing with the dreadlocks then you shouldn’t go.

Read the rest of my post…

O'Connell / Pleasurists #86, featuring my latest review / Tuesday, July 13th, 2010

My Bendybeads review was featured in the latest issue of Pleasurists.

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Did you miss Pleasurists #85? Read it all here. Do you have a review for Pleasurists #87? Be sure to read our submission guidelines and then use our submission form and submit it before Sunday July 18th at 11:59pm PDT.

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O'Connell / Keeping Busy / Sunday, July 11th, 2010

A home for my queer weres story? Image by David Light Orchard.

The last few days have been productive ones. I still am not producing as many new words as I would like, but I have had some fertile brainstorming sessions and have a lot of ideas in my head. I sent out a couple query letters for overdue submissions. This weekend I revised “Becoming” and sent it to a market which I hope will be it’s perfect home. I’ve also updated the Society of Voluptuaries’ Writing Calendar.

What calendar, a hypothetical reader of this blog might ask? Well for my online writing group I maintain a calendar of upcoming deadlines to anthologies and theme issues for genre fiction and erotica. It works pretty well as a list of possible prompts when I’m wondering what I should write about next. Since I’ve put some time and effort into this, I decided to make the calendar public — you can now check out the calendar here and add its data to your own google calendar or other compatible applications.

I’ve been a bit of a homebody while I do this, and my Fibromyalgia has given me very little spare energy to work with. I had lovely but short visits from my ‘pet’ and from Trouble, who is still mostly stuck in Houston. I went out with my friend Hel last night to see the Hot Sh!t Summer Series at Club de Ville for some tasty bloops and beeps and a moderate helping of wubwubs. I particularly enjoyed the set by Ernest Gonzelez. We actually left before the main act, Dr. Strangeloop, went on stage, because we were hungry. A visit to Starseeds further cemented my feeling of being back in Austin — I just wish I knew what the Austin equivalent was to Houston’s Late Nite Pie.

Speaking of Houston, I’ve been informed that the next Houston Art Nerds salon, Le Salon du Subversif #5, will be held on July 30th with a theme of Change. If you’re an artist, writer, crafter, or other creative type check out the Facebook group. This next salon will feature the return of the successful storytelling circle.

And while I hope to see many friends at the salon, I also plan to be in Houston next week for a doctor’s appointment and some social visits too. If you’re in Houston, let me know if you want to hang out.

O'Connell / Review: FunFactory Bendybeads / Friday, July 9th, 2010

FunFactory Violet Bendybeads

I review sex toys for sextoy.com. While I don’t receive any money for these reviews, I am receiving free sex toys. You can find the FunFactory Violet Bendybeads and other anal toys on their site.

Anyone who has talked to me about sex toys probably knows that I love FunFactory. I honestly believe they are making some of the best toys on the market today. They are colorful, creative, wonderfully functional and always made of the highest quality, safest, hygienic materials. I’ve raved to many about the Share, which is quite simply the best insertable ’strap-on’ toy available, far superior to the Feeldoe in the pleasure it gives to both wearer and receiver.

I used to have a simple silicone anal beads-style insertable toy that was the source of a lot of pleasure, but it belonged to an ex of mine and is no longer available to me. I was very excited at the opportunity to replace it with FunFactory’s upgraded version of the toy.

This is the larger of FunFactory’s two anal toys. The other is Flexi Felix, which is a little less expensive and a little smaller. Both are made of medical-grade silicone, meaning they are free of dangerous chemicals and easy to clean in hot soapy water, by boiling, or even in the top rack of your dishwasher (without dish detergent); just remember not to use any silicone-based lubes with them. Flexi Felix, as you’ll see if you follow the link, has what the manufacturer describes as a ‘beetle’ face as its handle. I guess many people find this cute, and I’m not bothered by other animal shaped toys (which granted, are usually ones I use on my lovers rather than myself), but for some reason the idea of putting a cartoon bug inside my ass is utterly unappealing.

It turns out though that I love the size and shape of the Bendybeads. In addition to their bead like shape, a “ribbon” of silicone travels up the length of the toy to become the handle at the end (or what FunFactory calls “the royal curl”). The texture of the silicone is quite soft to the touch. The beads are firm enough to penetrate with ease, especially after you insert the first one, but have enough give to feel very comfortable. The connection between each bead is solid; thanks to the lack of strings such as one finds on an old-fashioned set of anal beads plus the shape of the handle, you should have no worry about them getting lose inside you or your lover. And that handle is very easy to keep hold of, even when play gets slippery. As I expected, cleanup is easy though I have found that a little extra attention is needed when cleaning around where the beads meet and around the ribbon, as lube tends to accumulate there.

How does this toy measure up? These are definitely far superior to the previous beads I have played with. The ribbon feels extremely stimulating if you use it with the handle oriented vertically. I have used it several times in solo play and it’s definitely become my favorite-ever masturbation accessory. I cannot usually manage to take all 5 beads, but  It feels great going in and wonderful when it’s pulled out, especially at or near orgasm and it is relatively secure even when partially inserted. I also used it with Trouble once during a scene involving other sex toys, and combined with an egg vibrator on her clitoris it was enough to tip her over the edge with unexpected force and intensity when I inserted another bead.

The Bendybeads have only increased my appreciation for FunFactory, and I’m eager to explore more of their product line. Even though I got these Bendybeads for free, I can easily see myself spending the money to replace them should they ever be lost or damaged. However, given their quality construction I don’t see any reason not to anticipate using them for years to come.