My whole poly family is struggling somewhat now. My pet is trying to find work in Austin, and as is so often the case it’s a quite difficult task. Very few interviews so far, and of those nothing has turned into anything real. We miss each other a lot and the distance is putting an increasing strain on our relationship. We both tend to struggle with feelings of insecurity about our relationship between visits, especially as time stretches toward the next time we’ll be together.
Meanwhile, Grace, my lover from San Marcos, has been working through a lot of personal growth while simultaneously searching for work as well in Austin or locally. And Mz Honey J helped her live-in poly clan launch their new business. And my apprentice Noelle has struggled with her own issues, including financial problems exacerbated by the impending loss of a roommate.
As for myself I’ve been pushing at pretty close to the limits of my abilities. I’m taking on as much freelance writing work as I can find and slowly struggling into financial stability with many steps forward and a few backwards jumps from time to time. I’m running the Burning Flipside website, maintaining this blog, part of multiple relationships and trying to keep after my own creative projects. There’s been a lot going on — almost too much.
What keeps it from being too much for all of us is the support we give each other. I hung out with my old friend Kristen the other night, and in talking about my life with her what I kept coming back to was the way that for all my life involves juggling a lot of different things at once I love it’s simplicity. Everyone in my life is an incredible communicator, and is clear about their needs and their emotions with me. The way we help each other makes complexity simple.
Honey has found little gifts for Pet’s “little” persona, while Grace sends her job openings from her own search. We’ve all been doing what we can to help each other release stress and relax. When I fell apart a little the other night, Honey & Grace were all too happy to rearrange their schedules to make sure I’d have a bedmate for the night when I didn’t want to sleep alone. Dozens of simple gestures add up, along with a few more significant things, as Noelle recently documented in her blog.
I’m not sure where I’d be without this family of the heart I’ve built around me, but I know I wouldn’t be here and I have to wonder if I could feel so good about my life. For all the struggles ahead I also feel like I can see a lot of happiness as well and a lot of that is thanks to the people in my life — my lovers, friends, and Burner tribe.
p.s. My hand is feeling fine now.